Meeting The God of America: GOD IS GOOD
Our family prayed the children’s prayer at the dinner table, “God is great; God is good. Let us thank him for our food. Amen.” My search for the existence of God began as a young girl; a little girl needing to be rescued. “God is good” became my hope, as my soul longed for something good. I now realize those dinner prayers were instrumental in the war between good and evil within my soul. They would also become my compass, navigating me over the highest mountains, deepest canyons, and darkest places in my life.
Born into a family of Sicilians, I received baptism into the Catholic Church, by default. The haunting stories my mother shared from her years at Mother Butler, an all girl Catholic school, instilled in me a somewhat distorted fear of God and the Catholic Church. The nuns at Mother Butler secretly sent pregnant girls away for back room abortions. Since my mother became pregnant at seventeen, she was deemed a disgrace to the family. My grandmother wanted her sent away to abort me. God intervened, and my parents eloped. This conveys to me that God does not want abortion to happen. After all, he formed me in my mother’s womb, with the promise of plans for good, not evil; plans for a future and hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
We only showed up at church at Christmas and Easter, for only a few of my childhood years. Relatives, considered ‘mafioso’, prayed the rosary in one breath and were off on a gun-yielding drunk in the next. “God’s going to get you. God is going to punish you for that.” There was no evidence of a loving God in our home; quite the opposite. Our house became a home of drugs, weapons, motorcycles, and extreme physical and sexual abuse; a home to the most violent of outlaw motorcycle clubs. In an attempt to distract us from the festivities, my mother assigned one of the patchholders to watch out for us, often reading us children’s stories.
She also spoke of us as Catholic, yet delved into psychics, tarot cards, and séances. Stories of encounters with evil spirits were normal. Though I lived in fear, I always believed there was a God in heaven. As I reflect, it was strange I was able to associate a God of punishment with a beautiful place such as heaven. But then, it fit with the understanding that even the ones who loved me would come to hurt me. Amazingly, I just knew God was good, yet one to be feared. My search for his existence carried on until one day, when he kept me from plunging down a mountain canyon. Looking back, I see how he spared my life before I was even born, and on many future occasions.
My little sister, Jami, and I were sexually abused and beaten, without provocation, by our step father. It started when we were four and five years old, continuing over seven years. Our mother worked nights, so he had unlimited opportunities to be alone with us. One night, in particular, remained with me throughout my life. Jami was summoned to our parents’ bedroom. I tried to keep her from going back there. Pounding on the door and yelling for him to let her out proved futile. It was pure evil. Her cries and screams haunted me, leaving me with a burden of debilitating guilt.
Curiosity and hunger for God’s existence drew me to church-going friends. However, other things began distracting me from wanting to go to church with them. Years of every form of sexual abuse carried on, resulting in a perception of normalcy. Now, I was participating in all the things going on in our house. Amidst all of this, my grandfather, the only good and safe man in my life, was kidnapped and murdered. This sent my whole world plummeting even deeper.
Losing friends to drug overdoses, stabbings, ‘accidental’ shootings and suicide, delivered the normal blows I’d grown accustomed to. The home life continued, no matter whose home I turned to for safe haven. Reckless, I found no existence of good, let alone God. He called to me and I wandered; searching. My need to be rescued had me clinging to every glimpse of good. A Greyhound Bus ticket was my ticket out of hell. I met a good man, and fled to safety. Flashbacks and nightmares became more frequent, leading me to believe I was crazy. Late night fears crept into my room as I felt and pictured little demons jumping up and down on the foot of my bed. Shame and humiliation of my past consumed me; rage led to homicidal thoughts. Later, I came to understand I was under spiritual attack.
My best friend extended a third invitation to a Christian women’s retreat. By then, fourteen years had passed since attending any form of church, and that was at my grandfather’s funeral. I had reached my breaking point, living with relentless rage. Could Jesus set me free from my past? Could he rid me of the demonic attacks? I witnessed how Jesus worked in my friend’s life, and I longed for what she had. I surrendered my life to Christ at the retreat. “For I know the plans I have for you; plans for a future and a hope; for good, not for evil.” - Jeremiah 29:11 – There it was again…good. As I received the gift of the Holy Spirit, the rage was lifted from my heart, and replaced with peace.
God was not done yet; my sister had to hear about this. Our weekend together at a women’s retreat was the defining moment in my understanding of how God goes before us and is in control of everything. “..for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” – Isaiah 52:12 There were four of us registered to share a room, and registration was full. When Jami and I checked in, we were informed we’d be rooming alone. God knew having other roommates would hinder her openness. After our first evening service, she asked, “Why is everyone crying so much? They don’t expect me to cry, do they, because I don’t cry?” – Later, during communion, we randomly exchanged scripture cards. Jami’s read, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.” - Psalm 34:17 – Later that evening, we all participated in a feet washing, symbolic of when Jesus washed his disciples’ feet. As I washed my sister’s feet, I was overcome with an urgency to pray for cleansing of my sins against her, and forgiveness for the hurtful things I ever said or did. I apologized for the times I could not help her. The fear of that night pressed on my mind for a split second. Then, the presence of the Lord’s Holy Spirit came upon me and turned all my fear, shame and guilt into peace and calm. God delivered me from the bondage of those shackles of shame! Amen!
The weekend continued with all kinds of signs and wonders. Jami’s testimony of suicidal and homicidal thoughts and behaviors was replaced with a testimony of freedom, peace, and love. It was only a month later when my sister died in a tragic accident. Her funeral was a celebration of her home going. God was glorified and many others surrendered their hearts to Christ that day. My belief is that the Lord knew she was too weak to continue living here on this earth. Her suffering ended, as Jesus brought her home to him, whole again.
My belief is that God goes before us and paves the way in which He will lead us. There is also no doubt we fight a spiritual battle. There was an evening I received a call from a dear friend. Her mother was dying from cancer and my friend asked me to meet her at her mother’s house. I parked my car in a red zone, with the belief I would not be there long enough for it to be towed. My friend shared many sentiments with her mother, hopeful for reconciliation and peace in her heart. As we stood at her mother’s bedside, I looked for her bible. Something told me I should read the notes she’d written in her bible. I began reading aloud the scriptures she had circled and underlined. The fact that her mother could not speak or respond to our presence was understandably difficult for my friend. The loud noise outside the bedroom window was quite distracting. I was overcome with an urgency to read through the scriptures. As the reading quickened, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. My voice became louder, as I read above the noise outside the window. Setting the bible down, I quickly led us in prayer. She responded with a squeeze to her daughter’s hand. As we looked at each other and said, “Amen”, her mother took her last breath.
The feeling of love and peace we both felt is indescribable. Tears of joy poured out as we stood in awe of God’s presence in the room. The beauty and holiness of that moment is one neither of us will ever forget. As the Lord prepared the events of that evening, the enemy tried to distract us from reading and praying. The commotion outside happened to be a tow truck, removing my car from the red zone. If we’d given in to the distraction of the enemy, my friend would have been robbed of the blessing and peace she received that night. Most importantly, this story would not exist to bring glory to God.
Those times when I fell away from God were filled with destruction in my life. Allowing the fear and shame from my past to creep back in sent me plunging into a world I was all too familiar with. The aftereffects of my childhood abuse were severe, and, without the haven of a home church, I endured more years of re-victimization. Suddenly, I was living among the outlaw motorcycle clubs again; drinking, and doing the things I knew all too well from years ago. Shame controlled me and I was on the verge of losing custody of my daughter. God continued to chase after me though, with opportunities to trust in Him. He kept showing me He was good. I witnessed my former outlaw biker father surrender his life to Christ, become a Youth Leader at his little Baptist church, and serve on mission in Romania. Yes, God was good.
Once I recommitted my life to Jesus, in a New Year’s resolution prayer, everything began to change. The resolution prayer was two-fold: to make an intimate relationship with Christ my first priority, and prayer for the restoration of other significant relationships. As the fruits of the Spirit manifested inside me, restoration began taking place in my life. I began working full time in ministry, and the Lord led me to minister to survivors of sexual child abuse. Once my relationship with the Lord was rock solid, he began restoring the significant relationships I prayed for. He actually redeemed much more than I ever expected.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21
If, out of brokenness, many go to church to find God’s love, why is it we do not find the love of Jesus in many church goers? Because, they too are broken! I’ve learned to keep my focus on Jesus. My former perception that Christians are perfect is now just the opposite. We all fall short at some time, and can hurt one another. We are human, and far from perfect. Since many ‘seekers’ are hoping to find love and acceptance, it is our responsibility as Christians to embrace anyone who walks into our church, without judgment and condemnation, based on appearance or their past. A church must be a ‘safe’ place, and too many are not. I have learned a great deal about my responsibilities in representing Jesus. Similarly, it is important not to worship our pastors and church leaders. Church leaders are there as a vessel of the Lord. Though their leadership and authority is meant to be respected, we must be careful not to put them on a pedestal. I’ve found the greatest wounds within a congregation come from mistakes such as this. Overall, the goal is an intimate relationship with God. Period.
Out of brokenness, I humbled myself to the existence of God. Humility began to flow from my heart. Brokenness, in a sense, breaks the chains of pride which bind the heart closed. Once the spirit of pride is broken, our humble heart is able to freely receive God’s love. It is as if we were protecting our heart, grasping it tight in our own arms, forbidding anyone to come near it; protecting it from further harm. God lovingly whispers to us, assuring us, he only has good things for our heart. He does this by revealing the fruits of his spirit in others. He also uses circumstances to reveal the work already completed within us. How can we not want some of that gentleness, self-control, and peace? The heart is released from the chains of pride and God’s love pours into it, like a flood of holy water. As long as we remain in humility, his water of love, mercy, and grace washes away the pebbles of hate, unforgiveness, pain, and shame which harden our heart. Once our heart is washed clean of those things, they are replaced with the fruit of the spirit, and our heart is made whole again.
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us”… “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”- Romans 8:18, 28
If there is such a loving God, why do bad things happen to children? To anyone? Frankly, my biggest question was directed at my parents’ inability to protect me. Many years of soul searching revealed the brokenness in both my parents, which could only leave compassion for them. On the other hand, I wondered why our stepfather, who tortured my little sister and I, was not struck dead. We certainly prayed for it! He repeatedly survived horrific accidents, beatings, and extreme drug use. It appeared as if he was being punished; suffering God’s wrath. Convinced of this, I was at peace watching him suffer on this earth. When my dreams brought the message, “forgive your stepfather”, I prayed to God, how is this possible? It was apparent Jesus had forgiven him. The answer was compassion and love. Only by the grace of God was I able to find the tiniest speck of compassion, which grew in my heart to an extension of forgiveness. My stepfather is now a Christian. Finally, I see it is not about me; it is about relationship with Christ. As a friend recently said, our heart is the only thing we can give back to our Creator. It really is the only thing God wants from us. He is first; I am second.
Praise God, nightmares are things of the past. Little demons no longer jump on the foot of my bed. Dreams are always very vivid, even audible, with whispers from the Holy Spirit. One dream, from several years ago, spoke my life purpose to me. I was at a wedding, when the groom turned to me, his face a blurry haze of light, and said, “Tell them - Romans 10”. This ‘Holy Spirit Dream’ came at a time when I was not studying scripture. The book of Romans was not at all familiar to me. When I woke from the dream, I read the entire chapter. Tell them what?
Romans 10:14-15 explained it all, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
It is quite remarkable how the Lord has placed me in compassion ministry, caring for other women with whom I share a similar past, similar scars, and the need to be rescued. I see how God has taken the experiences of my life, now using them for good. Telling others about God and my walk with Christ is a way of expressing my love for them. It is clearly my purpose to tell of what I have seen and to tell of the things the Lord has revealed to me. My heart rejoices in the realness of God’s unconditional, selfless love. By His grace, all the darkness and strongholds of my past are gone. When we let go of fear, only then, can we gracefully move from what was, into the miracle of what can be.
God’s plan, and my journey with Jesus, continues with joyful anticipation, as I tell my story for His glory. There is so much evidence that God is in my life and working everything for my good. This season is one of graduation; moving beyond the basics of my faith into a maturity in Christ Jesus. As he orchestrates the studies, discipleship, classes, and fellowship, I am in awe of His power. Realizing the relationship to which I am called and living out God’s will for my life is success and achievement, which surpasses all the worldly pressures of a successful life. I do love God the Father, and his son, Jesus Christ! The Trinity is sacred to me. Because three persons exist in God as one unity, "The Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit" are not three different names for different parts of God but one name for God, because the Father cannot be divided from the Son or the Holy Spirit from the Son. ~ Therefore, Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one gets to the Father without JESUS! ~ John 14:6 ~
Born into a family of Sicilians, I received baptism into the Catholic Church, by default. The haunting stories my mother shared from her years at Mother Butler, an all girl Catholic school, instilled in me a somewhat distorted fear of God and the Catholic Church. The nuns at Mother Butler secretly sent pregnant girls away for back room abortions. Since my mother became pregnant at seventeen, she was deemed a disgrace to the family. My grandmother wanted her sent away to abort me. God intervened, and my parents eloped. This conveys to me that God does not want abortion to happen. After all, he formed me in my mother’s womb, with the promise of plans for good, not evil; plans for a future and hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
We only showed up at church at Christmas and Easter, for only a few of my childhood years. Relatives, considered ‘mafioso’, prayed the rosary in one breath and were off on a gun-yielding drunk in the next. “God’s going to get you. God is going to punish you for that.” There was no evidence of a loving God in our home; quite the opposite. Our house became a home of drugs, weapons, motorcycles, and extreme physical and sexual abuse; a home to the most violent of outlaw motorcycle clubs. In an attempt to distract us from the festivities, my mother assigned one of the patchholders to watch out for us, often reading us children’s stories.
She also spoke of us as Catholic, yet delved into psychics, tarot cards, and séances. Stories of encounters with evil spirits were normal. Though I lived in fear, I always believed there was a God in heaven. As I reflect, it was strange I was able to associate a God of punishment with a beautiful place such as heaven. But then, it fit with the understanding that even the ones who loved me would come to hurt me. Amazingly, I just knew God was good, yet one to be feared. My search for his existence carried on until one day, when he kept me from plunging down a mountain canyon. Looking back, I see how he spared my life before I was even born, and on many future occasions.
My little sister, Jami, and I were sexually abused and beaten, without provocation, by our step father. It started when we were four and five years old, continuing over seven years. Our mother worked nights, so he had unlimited opportunities to be alone with us. One night, in particular, remained with me throughout my life. Jami was summoned to our parents’ bedroom. I tried to keep her from going back there. Pounding on the door and yelling for him to let her out proved futile. It was pure evil. Her cries and screams haunted me, leaving me with a burden of debilitating guilt.
Curiosity and hunger for God’s existence drew me to church-going friends. However, other things began distracting me from wanting to go to church with them. Years of every form of sexual abuse carried on, resulting in a perception of normalcy. Now, I was participating in all the things going on in our house. Amidst all of this, my grandfather, the only good and safe man in my life, was kidnapped and murdered. This sent my whole world plummeting even deeper.
Losing friends to drug overdoses, stabbings, ‘accidental’ shootings and suicide, delivered the normal blows I’d grown accustomed to. The home life continued, no matter whose home I turned to for safe haven. Reckless, I found no existence of good, let alone God. He called to me and I wandered; searching. My need to be rescued had me clinging to every glimpse of good. A Greyhound Bus ticket was my ticket out of hell. I met a good man, and fled to safety. Flashbacks and nightmares became more frequent, leading me to believe I was crazy. Late night fears crept into my room as I felt and pictured little demons jumping up and down on the foot of my bed. Shame and humiliation of my past consumed me; rage led to homicidal thoughts. Later, I came to understand I was under spiritual attack.
My best friend extended a third invitation to a Christian women’s retreat. By then, fourteen years had passed since attending any form of church, and that was at my grandfather’s funeral. I had reached my breaking point, living with relentless rage. Could Jesus set me free from my past? Could he rid me of the demonic attacks? I witnessed how Jesus worked in my friend’s life, and I longed for what she had. I surrendered my life to Christ at the retreat. “For I know the plans I have for you; plans for a future and a hope; for good, not for evil.” - Jeremiah 29:11 – There it was again…good. As I received the gift of the Holy Spirit, the rage was lifted from my heart, and replaced with peace.
God was not done yet; my sister had to hear about this. Our weekend together at a women’s retreat was the defining moment in my understanding of how God goes before us and is in control of everything. “..for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” – Isaiah 52:12 There were four of us registered to share a room, and registration was full. When Jami and I checked in, we were informed we’d be rooming alone. God knew having other roommates would hinder her openness. After our first evening service, she asked, “Why is everyone crying so much? They don’t expect me to cry, do they, because I don’t cry?” – Later, during communion, we randomly exchanged scripture cards. Jami’s read, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.” - Psalm 34:17 – Later that evening, we all participated in a feet washing, symbolic of when Jesus washed his disciples’ feet. As I washed my sister’s feet, I was overcome with an urgency to pray for cleansing of my sins against her, and forgiveness for the hurtful things I ever said or did. I apologized for the times I could not help her. The fear of that night pressed on my mind for a split second. Then, the presence of the Lord’s Holy Spirit came upon me and turned all my fear, shame and guilt into peace and calm. God delivered me from the bondage of those shackles of shame! Amen!
The weekend continued with all kinds of signs and wonders. Jami’s testimony of suicidal and homicidal thoughts and behaviors was replaced with a testimony of freedom, peace, and love. It was only a month later when my sister died in a tragic accident. Her funeral was a celebration of her home going. God was glorified and many others surrendered their hearts to Christ that day. My belief is that the Lord knew she was too weak to continue living here on this earth. Her suffering ended, as Jesus brought her home to him, whole again.
My belief is that God goes before us and paves the way in which He will lead us. There is also no doubt we fight a spiritual battle. There was an evening I received a call from a dear friend. Her mother was dying from cancer and my friend asked me to meet her at her mother’s house. I parked my car in a red zone, with the belief I would not be there long enough for it to be towed. My friend shared many sentiments with her mother, hopeful for reconciliation and peace in her heart. As we stood at her mother’s bedside, I looked for her bible. Something told me I should read the notes she’d written in her bible. I began reading aloud the scriptures she had circled and underlined. The fact that her mother could not speak or respond to our presence was understandably difficult for my friend. The loud noise outside the bedroom window was quite distracting. I was overcome with an urgency to read through the scriptures. As the reading quickened, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. My voice became louder, as I read above the noise outside the window. Setting the bible down, I quickly led us in prayer. She responded with a squeeze to her daughter’s hand. As we looked at each other and said, “Amen”, her mother took her last breath.
The feeling of love and peace we both felt is indescribable. Tears of joy poured out as we stood in awe of God’s presence in the room. The beauty and holiness of that moment is one neither of us will ever forget. As the Lord prepared the events of that evening, the enemy tried to distract us from reading and praying. The commotion outside happened to be a tow truck, removing my car from the red zone. If we’d given in to the distraction of the enemy, my friend would have been robbed of the blessing and peace she received that night. Most importantly, this story would not exist to bring glory to God.
Those times when I fell away from God were filled with destruction in my life. Allowing the fear and shame from my past to creep back in sent me plunging into a world I was all too familiar with. The aftereffects of my childhood abuse were severe, and, without the haven of a home church, I endured more years of re-victimization. Suddenly, I was living among the outlaw motorcycle clubs again; drinking, and doing the things I knew all too well from years ago. Shame controlled me and I was on the verge of losing custody of my daughter. God continued to chase after me though, with opportunities to trust in Him. He kept showing me He was good. I witnessed my former outlaw biker father surrender his life to Christ, become a Youth Leader at his little Baptist church, and serve on mission in Romania. Yes, God was good.
Once I recommitted my life to Jesus, in a New Year’s resolution prayer, everything began to change. The resolution prayer was two-fold: to make an intimate relationship with Christ my first priority, and prayer for the restoration of other significant relationships. As the fruits of the Spirit manifested inside me, restoration began taking place in my life. I began working full time in ministry, and the Lord led me to minister to survivors of sexual child abuse. Once my relationship with the Lord was rock solid, he began restoring the significant relationships I prayed for. He actually redeemed much more than I ever expected.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21
If, out of brokenness, many go to church to find God’s love, why is it we do not find the love of Jesus in many church goers? Because, they too are broken! I’ve learned to keep my focus on Jesus. My former perception that Christians are perfect is now just the opposite. We all fall short at some time, and can hurt one another. We are human, and far from perfect. Since many ‘seekers’ are hoping to find love and acceptance, it is our responsibility as Christians to embrace anyone who walks into our church, without judgment and condemnation, based on appearance or their past. A church must be a ‘safe’ place, and too many are not. I have learned a great deal about my responsibilities in representing Jesus. Similarly, it is important not to worship our pastors and church leaders. Church leaders are there as a vessel of the Lord. Though their leadership and authority is meant to be respected, we must be careful not to put them on a pedestal. I’ve found the greatest wounds within a congregation come from mistakes such as this. Overall, the goal is an intimate relationship with God. Period.
Out of brokenness, I humbled myself to the existence of God. Humility began to flow from my heart. Brokenness, in a sense, breaks the chains of pride which bind the heart closed. Once the spirit of pride is broken, our humble heart is able to freely receive God’s love. It is as if we were protecting our heart, grasping it tight in our own arms, forbidding anyone to come near it; protecting it from further harm. God lovingly whispers to us, assuring us, he only has good things for our heart. He does this by revealing the fruits of his spirit in others. He also uses circumstances to reveal the work already completed within us. How can we not want some of that gentleness, self-control, and peace? The heart is released from the chains of pride and God’s love pours into it, like a flood of holy water. As long as we remain in humility, his water of love, mercy, and grace washes away the pebbles of hate, unforgiveness, pain, and shame which harden our heart. Once our heart is washed clean of those things, they are replaced with the fruit of the spirit, and our heart is made whole again.
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us”… “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”- Romans 8:18, 28
If there is such a loving God, why do bad things happen to children? To anyone? Frankly, my biggest question was directed at my parents’ inability to protect me. Many years of soul searching revealed the brokenness in both my parents, which could only leave compassion for them. On the other hand, I wondered why our stepfather, who tortured my little sister and I, was not struck dead. We certainly prayed for it! He repeatedly survived horrific accidents, beatings, and extreme drug use. It appeared as if he was being punished; suffering God’s wrath. Convinced of this, I was at peace watching him suffer on this earth. When my dreams brought the message, “forgive your stepfather”, I prayed to God, how is this possible? It was apparent Jesus had forgiven him. The answer was compassion and love. Only by the grace of God was I able to find the tiniest speck of compassion, which grew in my heart to an extension of forgiveness. My stepfather is now a Christian. Finally, I see it is not about me; it is about relationship with Christ. As a friend recently said, our heart is the only thing we can give back to our Creator. It really is the only thing God wants from us. He is first; I am second.
Praise God, nightmares are things of the past. Little demons no longer jump on the foot of my bed. Dreams are always very vivid, even audible, with whispers from the Holy Spirit. One dream, from several years ago, spoke my life purpose to me. I was at a wedding, when the groom turned to me, his face a blurry haze of light, and said, “Tell them - Romans 10”. This ‘Holy Spirit Dream’ came at a time when I was not studying scripture. The book of Romans was not at all familiar to me. When I woke from the dream, I read the entire chapter. Tell them what?
Romans 10:14-15 explained it all, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
It is quite remarkable how the Lord has placed me in compassion ministry, caring for other women with whom I share a similar past, similar scars, and the need to be rescued. I see how God has taken the experiences of my life, now using them for good. Telling others about God and my walk with Christ is a way of expressing my love for them. It is clearly my purpose to tell of what I have seen and to tell of the things the Lord has revealed to me. My heart rejoices in the realness of God’s unconditional, selfless love. By His grace, all the darkness and strongholds of my past are gone. When we let go of fear, only then, can we gracefully move from what was, into the miracle of what can be.
God’s plan, and my journey with Jesus, continues with joyful anticipation, as I tell my story for His glory. There is so much evidence that God is in my life and working everything for my good. This season is one of graduation; moving beyond the basics of my faith into a maturity in Christ Jesus. As he orchestrates the studies, discipleship, classes, and fellowship, I am in awe of His power. Realizing the relationship to which I am called and living out God’s will for my life is success and achievement, which surpasses all the worldly pressures of a successful life. I do love God the Father, and his son, Jesus Christ! The Trinity is sacred to me. Because three persons exist in God as one unity, "The Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit" are not three different names for different parts of God but one name for God, because the Father cannot be divided from the Son or the Holy Spirit from the Son. ~ Therefore, Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one gets to the Father without JESUS! ~ John 14:6 ~
Wow! I was speechless for a while and found myself crying as i paused every now and then while trying to digest each word you shared........What a Mighty God you and i serve.
ReplyDeleteGod is good became my favorite phrase every time i received some blessings or miracles, but most of all when i find myself in a deep struggle over something or learning that some friends and people i love are in great pain too.
I am in deep awe how God turned your life into something wonderful, i marveled the way He made all those painful past and mistakes a form of honor and worship to Him....only an AWESOME GOD can do that!
Your life is an inspiration, and i will pray that wherever God leads you and whatever it takes, you will always find that His grace is sufficient for you and His favor will rest upon you always.
May your life continue to shine and touch people's lives for the glory of the ONE who sent you, love you and protect you all these years.
And whatever happens...God is STILL good!
Blessings,
Weng
It erased my comment! Agh! Here - let me try the cliff notes...lol.
ReplyDeleteAwesome job - no graphic details leaving the reader to focus on what GOD was able to do as opposed to being trapped in scenes of sorrow. Eloquently written :)
So sorry about your sister's death and yet celebrating with you in her homecoming! It reminded me of the time Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him 3 times. He gave him an opportuity to make up for the hurt he carried after denying Jesus 3 times. It is as tough God allowed you to make up for the hurt and guilt you carried about not being able to save your sister in the past by allowing you to lead her to the ultimate salvation in Christ.
God searches the depths of our hearts and begins to heal us from those depths with His love until it is bubbling up and overflowing so that no one can deny its existence!
Thank you for sharing!