Saving Jami: Washing Away Guilt and Shame

"Now that I, your Lord and Teacher,
have washed your feet,
you also should wash one another's feet.
I have set you an example
that you should do as I have done for you."
John 13:14-15

'It was not your fault' are the words most victims of child sexual abuse need to hear; sometimes repeatedly as we walk through the healing journey. The guilt and shame are powerful spiritual weapons intended to steal forgiveness (self-forgiveness) and our true identity as God's precious children. I never blamed myself for my own sexual abuse as a child, but I did carry guilt and shame for not fulfilling my role as the protective older sister, sparing my little sister from her torture.

I carried that for most of my life. It was not until I found help through a support group for survivors that I heard it was not my fault and there was nothing I possibly could have done to spare her.

Then the Lord did something miraculous. He used me to introduce Jami to Him. The day she surrendered her heart to Christ, I washed her feet with my tears. The Lord not only came into her heart, but into mine and washed away the guilt. I heard, "You may not have been able to save her then, but look how the Lord is using you now." By telling my sister of what Jesus did for me, she wanted the same thing.

My anguished heart for my dear little sister led me to pray in the Spirit over her feet. My tears fell upon them as I pleaded for her forgiveness for ever treating her less than she should have been treated. Please, God, just give her peace. The Love of God poured upon Jami over those three days at the retreat in many more ways than what I've described.

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." - Ephesians 3:20