Masks of Shame and Pain ~ A Poem
DON'T BE FOOLED BY ME
Adapted from a poem by Charles C. Finn
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the mask I wear.
For I wear a thousand masks; masks that I am afraid to take off, and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled.
For God's sake, don't be fooled.
I give the impression that I'm secure; that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
I give the impression that I'm secure; that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within me as well as without.
Don't believe me, please!
My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
Beneath this lies no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear and in loneliness.
I hide this. I don't want anybody to know.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
Beneath this lies no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear and in loneliness.
I hide this. I don't want anybody to know.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend;
to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, and I know it.
That is, if its followed by love.
It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself.
That I am worth something.
But I won't tell you this.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, and I know it.
That is, if its followed by love.
It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself.
That I am worth something.
But I won't tell you this.
I don't dare. I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh at me and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing; that I'm no good.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh at me and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing; that I'm no good.
So I play my game, my desperate game with a facade of assurance without,
and a trembling child within.
And so begins the parade of masks. And my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing that is really everything,
And so begins the parade of masks. And my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing that is really everything,
of what’s crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I am saying.
Please listen very carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I am saying.
Please listen very carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say, what, for survival I NEED to say but what I CAN'T say.
I dislike hiding, honestly!
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and...ME
But you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand, even when it’s the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare and breathing death.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, gentle, and encouraging;
I dislike hiding, honestly!
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and...ME
But you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand, even when it’s the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare and breathing death.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, gentle, and encouraging;
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings.
Very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings.
With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding,
With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding,
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me;
I want you to know how important you are to me;
how you can be the creator of a person that is me if you choose to.
Please choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble.
You alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty;
Please choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble.
You alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty;
from my lonely person.
Do not pass me by.
Please.....do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strongs walls.
The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for,
Do not pass me by.
Please.....do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strongs walls.
The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for,
but I am told that love is stronger than walls and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands.
Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands.
For a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder.
Who am I, you may wonder.
I am someone you know very well,
for I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.
With all its shame, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
With all its shame, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Be happy.
Jay Turner replied ~
ReplyDeleteIt makes me think of the garden of Eden. Ever since the fall, where we discovered our nakedness, we have been trying to cover it up.
Adam and Eve ate of the fruit from the tree of the Knowledge of good and evil, judging for themselves what is right and what is wrong, instead of accepting God's perfect and rightful judgment over and for their lives. This was the first sin and the basis for every other sin mankind has ever committed.
When you study it out, the tree of knowledge is a picture of God's authority. When Adam and Eve ate from its fruit, that act, was an act of trying to usurp God's authority and His right to judge good and evil for them. We were never created to judge good and evil. That was the one and only thing that God reserved for Himself, not allowing Adam and Eve to partake in
When we judge, it is an imperfect judgment. We see what we experience. Any judgment can have thousands of different variables. We are able to see a couple, but most are beyond our scope of understanding. We don't see all the affects a single decision can have in the here and now, let alone how it will affect people 10 generations down the road.
We read the verse in the bible that says "Judge not, lest ye be judged", and have a cursory understanding. When we judge someone, what we are actually doing is revisiting that original sin. The fall of mankind came about because two people wanted to be able to judge for themselves what was good and evil, right and wrong for their lives, instead of turning to God and letting Him judge for them.
When we begin to judge others, circumstances, ourselves, etc, not only will others start judging us in return, but what we are doing is telling God, "I want to be my own god. I don't trust you and I believe that I can judge good and evil more rightly than you can." In reality, we are turning our back on God and forcing Him to judge us because of our judgment.
We were created to be God's children. Though, because of Adam and Eve's sin we have been separated from God, when Christ died on the cross and was resurrected, our sins were forgiven and we are no longer judged according to whether or not we are able to live perfect and righteous lives. Our salvation is based on whether we accept that forgiveness or not. If we accept that forgiveness, we are saved. It is that simple. What we call sanctification, is the process where God helping us to see ourselves for who we were created to be.
Some question that I ask myself is how many of us that call ourselves christians, never really have accepted for ourselves that we are forgiven and have been of over two millennia. How many of us continue to play God, judging for ourselves what is good and what is evil instead of turning to God and letting Him show us through His Spirit, His true and righteous judgment. Or, how often do we find ourselves creating a standard that we try to live up to in the hopes to please God, when He has already accepted us as we are. Every time we do, we are placing ourselves back under the law, rejecting the free gift of grace and telling Christ that all of His suffering on the cross was in vein.
When you look into the mirror, who do you see? Do you see a child of God or do you see something else? if you see anything but what God created you to be, that means that there is flesh still hanging on and you haven't fully relinquished yourself to God's will. It means that God is still working on you and He is not yet finished with what He is doing. You are still in process and will be for the rest of your natural life. No need to beat yourself up, just make sure that you don't give up and start becoming comfortable where you are at.
God loves you and has accepted you for who you are, but that doesn't mean that He will leave you where you are.
Becky McFadden replied ~
ReplyDeleteWe were all created in the image of God. It does not matter where you have been but where you are going. Our past is our megaphone of our testimony to clarify the mighty works of our Father in Heaven.
1 Corinthians 15:56 ~ "For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power."
But thank God. He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ. So my dear brothers and sisters be strong and immoveable.
Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless. You are worthy no matter what has befallen upon you. Do not rest in your humiliation and shame because there is a friend that will stick closer to you than an earthly brother or sister. God will appoint them to you when you reach out to him in faith.
We have marks of humilation and shame and we are blameless in them for the World is full of darkness and peril. We are innocent and not to blame when we have been violated and torn and tortured, shamed, beaten but knowing that Christ has seen all of our sufferings he is our justifier and our comforter and healer.
We are to comfort one another in all of our sufferings and to show love towards each other. We all have a target and the targets are all of our pains balled up and raveled together. In order for us to be healed, we must in turn help others in there healing as well. This is what Christ demonstrates to us and what we must demonstrate to others. We are reachable, so find a target, reach out to someone and through his stripes and examples we are healed. We have to help one another.
I have shame, I had addictions, I had hopelessness, I had devastation, I was stripped of all innocence, I was abused, I was broken, it was dark, yes I have wanted to die in my shame. When the Holy Spirit came to me, there was a spoken word to find another broken you, there are thousands of you, this is your work is to look for you. I am looking for me. Looking for me I will find you. We are the tears, the heart, the hands, the feet, the labourers, the listeners, the doers,the arms, the instruments of Christ to bring the message of hope and restoration to your broken spirit.
This is the spirit that cries and mourns and does not rest to intercede for your injustice.
So therefore write Justice Writer to heal another you through Christ Jesus. Matthew 9:12
Healthy people don't need a doctor, sick people do. Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture, I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices, For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous but those who know they are sinners. Do you believe I can make you see? Because of your faith, it will happen. The harvest is great but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest ask him to send more workers into the fields.