Secret Survivors: Dedicated to Jessie

When you hear of a sexual crime against a child, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Anger? Sadness? Disgust? I am overcome with grief and it makes me physically ill. You've seen my posts, advocating organizations that promote child sexual abuse prevention and awareness campaigns. The reason for all of this is because I am a survivor and I want to help in any way I can to prevent another child from enduring this brutality. Awareness can and should stop the abuse dead in it's tracks, if a responsible adult makes the right choices to protect and care for the child. Sexual abuse is often repeated, sometimes for years, upon a child. In my case, my mother lived in fear of the man who victimized our family. He beat our mother in front of us, and would attack us without provokation. This went on for seven years in our household.

Many children are murdered in the course of these attacks. The scars left behind are upon the family and community. Survivors of incest, however, live with severe aftereffects, including re-victimization, often for the rest of their lives.

Let me tell you a story about Jessie, a 44 year old woman who crossed my path several years ago. Jessie was a prostitute and was arrested for assaulting and robbing a man after spending time with him in his hotel room. Her life, from the age of ten, was lived on the streets. She ran away when she was beaten for 'lying' to her uncle. What could the horrible lie have been? Jessie came to her uncle, crying, and told him her thirteen year old cousin had forced her to 'do things'. Nobody was safe in her life. Nobody believed her. Or, maybe they were just in denial and did not want to face the truth? The truth is this little girl somehow found the courage to talk about how she was violated, and was beaten and turned away. Jessie was 'institutionalized', meaning she was at home when behind bars.

When I came upon Jessie, she shared with me how, while in jail, she found out this same cousin was convicted of rape. She wondered if her uncle finally believed her now. Jessie asked me if I would write a letter to her aunt and uncle for her, posing this question. She did not know how to write such a letter. I can't tell you exactly how I felt as I wrote the letter for her. I cried all the way through it. I was sad, grateful for the opportunity, enraged, relieved for her; so many emotions. Jessie hugged me and thanked me. I, in turn, thanked her for trusting me and allowing me to write the letter. I was humbled. I knew God was using me in a mighty way at that moment. This is when I became an advocate for survivors of incest and victims of child sexual abuse.

Women who live a life of promiscuity appear as victims through my eyes. I wonder what they may have endured as a little girl. I wonder if the man who lusts after the seductively dressed (or barely-dressed) woman realizes he may be lusting after a survivor of incest. This same man may speak out against child molesters, when he is unknowingly participating in the re-victimization.

Believe it or not, I actually found a voice for perpetrators as well. That is only by the grace of God and the gift of compassion and forgiveness the Lord has instilled in my heart. My prayer is that my victories; healing, redemption, restoration, and so many more, become the victories of many.

Please take a look at my earlier post, "Post-Incest Syndrome", to educate yourself as to the characteristics of someone living with Post-Incest Syndrome. Who knows, the Lord may reveal something to you or to someone in need of your prayers and support.

~ Peace, my friends ~