Returning to My First Love: My Love Letter to God

Throughout the first eight months of 2016, I was certain God had answered my prayers and led my husband to me. He was a God-fearing man, though new in his relationship with Jesus. The relationship ended abruptly for a reason I will not disclose out of respect for him. During the short duration of our relationship, I failed to keep my commitment to the Lord in keeping Him first above all else. Above anyone else. 

In the brokenness of my heart, I was called to write a love letter to God with thanksgiving. It was shared with the ladies at my church during our women's breakfast. The theme was, "God's Love Endures Forever". This was only the beginning of the Lord's rescue and protection of my heart.

Have you ever written a love letter to God? I highly recommend it. I hope mine inspires you to do the same.

My beloved Jesus ~

In complete devotion, adoration, and gratitude, Lord, I am writing to you. It’s been so long since my last letter and I have so much pouring from my heart.

My heart was hidden in yours; you were my everything for ten years, just as I promised! My Savior. My Beloved. My best friend. My husband. There was no room for anyone else. You made my heart whole, completely content in you alone after a lifetime of making my bed in the depths of darkness. I knew my heart was no longer meant to be shared.

Then you began making room in my heart for another. I did not expect to give so much of my heart away. You became my second love. That was not my intent or my desire. I know you have forgiven me for that because you drew my heart back to yours, closing the door on the counterfeit. You are indeed a jealous God and do not tolerate affection for any other gods. (Exodus 20:5) You rescued me once again. Thank you, Lord for your rescue and your mercy! 

“You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." (Psalm 139:5-10)

Even before we met, you showed how much I meant to you. And yes, your words mean so much and echo in my heart throughout each day. But it is what you DO that shows me I am genuinely your princess. No other could possibly love my heart and soul as you do. I am falling in love with you all over again as you reaffirm my worth is far more than rubies. (Proverbs 31:10)

Thank you, Jesus for being with me in my moments of loneliness. You never fail or abandon me. (Deut 31:6)  You only reassure me that rejection never comes from you. Isaiah 41:9 says, “You, whom I [the Lord] have taken from the ends of the earth and called from its remotest parts and said to you, “You are my servant, I have chosen you and have not rejected you.”

Thank you for hearing the cry of my heart to serve you where you lead. You have made it so clear that you have purposefully planted me to bear fruit and to continue to bear fruit. (John 15:16) Father, thank you for the cleansing of my heart so that I may be a pure vessel for your Spirit to flow through. 

Thank you for my Life family and all the mentors you have placed in my life.

Lord, thank you for restoring every area of my life and for every trial that led me to where I am today. You are holding my heart in your hand, Lord, and I feel you and see you in everything as you mold me into the woman you created me to be. You search me, O God, and know my heart; you test me and know my anxious thoughts. You point out anything in me that offends you, leading me along the path to everlasting life. (Psalm 139:23-24) I am so grateful for that!

Thank you for holding my Angel Babe in the palm of your hand and commanding your angels to stand guard over her!

Thank you Lord for your justice. Over and over again, what the enemy intends for harm, you turn it around for good so that I may witness to the things you have done. Thank you for the calling on my life and for meeting every need along the way. (Philippians 4:19) I am so grateful for the plan you have for my life. I trust and believe you have greater things in store and it is all for your glory. Help me recognize evil for what it is and use wisdom in all that I do.

Thank you for your unfailing, relentless love that continues to pursue my heart! You make me feel as if I am your only treasure! I’ll be forever grateful that you are my shelter and hiding place, tucked safely in your heart. Hide me again, Lord, so that I may love you with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.

I heard you whisper, "Hide in me. Abide in me. I am all you need. Kneel and receive my love."

Here I am, Lord...