Grateful Now That I See

Expressing genuine gratitude from the heart for the provisions and blessings we receive is significant in nurturing a heart of humility.

When I think back at how I used to take these things for granted, it is no wonder my life took such a drastic turn for the worse. Not only that, but I was so filled with self-pride. I had survived a life of which most would not. So many friends would say things like, "It's amazing you turned out like you did, considering...."

What did that mean, exactly? I suppose I maintained a pretty good facade and swept a great deal under the rug. I was an overachiever to compensate for the massive trauma throughout the first seventeen years of my life. So, yeah, I was pretty proud of the 'strength' I posessed. It was all about self-preservation and using the survival skills I had so effectively developed.

The truth is I was not ok.

"The LORD sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts." 1 Samuel 2:7

"You save the humble, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low." 2 Samuel 22:28

Once I humbled myself at Jesus' feet, I broke free from the debilitating spirit of pride. The Lord planted the desire to become less of myself. What came from that was I began understanding the more humble I became, the more powerfully God revealed himself. Interaction with the Holy Spirit became more frequent and vivid. Some of this change was forced upon me when the Lord removed those things that used to wedge between Him and I; things I exalted above Him. The Lord showed me it brings Him joy when I walk in humility.

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." ~ Philippians 2:1-3

At the lowest point in my life, I had lost everything I had worked so hard for. The only thing left was my life, and my daughter. As God would have it, I was also fighting for my child. After several years in court, without an attorney to defend my case, I was before the judge. I kept praying and praying for the truth to be revealed in the eyes of the court.

"Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known." - Matthew 10:26

Though I stood my ground, I also had silently submitted to God that I would accept His will if He chose my daughter to be with her father instead of me.

When the judge announced his decision to keep my custody in tact, and increased my parenting time to boot, I felt such relief that it was as if the weight of an entire person left my body. My gratitude was so great that I collapsed to the table and sobbed. I thanked the judge and the bailiff, and God. I remember looking up and crying "Thank you Lord!"

My humility was rewarded! God revealed His power in that courtroom. After all, what is our reward while here on this earth? It is to experience His glory! When we decrease ourselves in humility, God increases His manifestation through the power of the Holy Spirit! We begin to see things we've only heard of from others or read of in the Bible.

Look at the Shepherds; poor, simple people who were deemed to be unclean and unfit according to the Law of God, were "chosen" by God to be the first to hear His announcement of His son!

I once heard my pastor speak of how Christ became lower and lower in status as he walked this earth. Ultimately, He was exalted to the highest position, even upon the cross! This is what it means, when we read, "he exalts the humble."

Great things begin to happen when we live a life of humility. Starting a daily gratitude journal is one way to effectively begin. As a writer, it is only one more journal. It did require discipline on my part to develop the habit of intentionally expressing gratitude before going to sleep at night. Now, expressing my gratitude to God comes before I ask Him for anything. Now, asking God for anything in prayer before thanking and praising Him, is just not right.

"He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way." - Psalm 25:9

However, for someone who does not practice the craft of writing, it can be a chore and easily forgotten. Really, one can start a gratitude journal by simply recording one thing to be grateful for on that particular day. Pretty soon, that one daily reflection of gratitude turns into a list of things to be grateful for. Writing the daily thought of gratitude is not even necessary. All we have to do is think it and the Lord hears us; His spirit in us receives it and the spirit of gratefulness grows within us. To me, gratitude and humility come hand in hand. When you develop one, the other accompanies it.

“One single grateful thought towards heaven, is the most perfect prayer.” – Minna von Barnhelm

Living with the humility of Jesus is not easy, but it is rewarding. We are able to experience freedom in forgiveness of others, we befriend those who were once enemies, relationships are restored, our hearts are healed, and we bring joy and glory to our savior, Jesus Christ! There is so much to be grateful for. Above all things, I am grateful to God for revealing himself to me in so many phenomenal ways. Of course, I would not even see or recognize Him if it were not for His grace in choosing to open my eyes.